Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
