ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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