Your tits are I can't wait for
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
as a side note pls kill me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Couch. On fire.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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