You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
