My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's never too late to be topless.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
