He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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