these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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