Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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