I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
