My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
