Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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