Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
