dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
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