I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
