On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He did a backflip because drugs
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