i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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