How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
