everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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