Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize