Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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