I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
