I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
