can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
