I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
