We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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