there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
