I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize