No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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