this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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