none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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