This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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