don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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