On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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