Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
