Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
