Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
