break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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