Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
being pregnant is like rehab
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
