Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
