I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
