it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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