I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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