My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
