"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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