this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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