yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
