Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
