What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
