i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
