I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize