There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
