And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
