what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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