Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
