theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize