Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
