either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
