and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
