There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
