he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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